Do You Have Re-entry Anxiety?

Uncategorized Jun 08, 2021

A little over a year ago, the world shut down.

It was scary. Everything was unknown, there was no end in sight. We got used to a "new normal", but the truth was, it sucked. We stayed home, isolated, and all we could think about was getting back to the way things used to be.

Then the vaccines arrived! Freedom was coming! Maybe we can get back to normal! Things are starting to open back up! This is totally what we wanted!

So why does the thought of going to a restaurant or gathering fill you with panic? Why do you still want to stay at home and stay safe? What's going on?

Your brain is always looking for stability and sameness. This past year has disrupted that. All the things you thought were predictable, and normal parts of life, like school, work, shopping, travel, were changed or taken away. Your brain doesn't know what to do with that. Everything now feels unsafe, and you need protection. So it creates anxiety and fear, which will keep you safe.

Sometimes this fear is not...

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Should You Forgive?

Forgiveness is a tricky subject. We really don't want to forgive people who have done crappy things to us. And no one can make you forgive anyone when you aren't ready. 

I always work my clients through a forgiveness process, if and when they are ready, because it's so important for complete healing.

When you hold onto anger, rage, hate, betrayal, and other negative emotions, it hurts you, NOT them. That person has no idea, and might not even care how you feel. But you know. You are still living in that pain every day if you allow yourself to stay in the hate and anger. That person is controlling you. I know it seems easier to blame others. And it can feel good for awhile. It feels vindicating. 

But you know what feels even better? Being in control of your emotional state and not feeling anything about the person who wronged you. Imagine just letting go of all of that and the space it would free up in your brain. Imagine if you controlled how you feel, instead of them?


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I'm Healed! Now What?

Uncategorized Aug 11, 2020

I work with lots of clients who have tried everything to get rid of their problem. They have been to therapy, read self-help books, done affirmations, and feel exhausted. They don't want to talk about their problem anymore.

So we meet and I help them, using my methods to rewire the brain, and their anxiety is gone. They never think about their past trauma. They are no longer depressed. They feel amazing.

And this used to be where I stopped.  They felt great, I felt great, and they went on their way.

Until recently. This pandemic has done some interesting things to our brains. But is has helped me transform my business, so I can serve clients more effectively.

Clients have started reaching out to me because they need more support. Some have had new issues pop up. Some need help on other areas of life. 

Sometimes, after you get rid of your problem you've had forever, everything is different. You see the world differently. How do you navigate that?  Now that you're...

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What To Do When Your Anxiety Comes Back

Uncategorized Aug 10, 2020

Over the past few months I've had many past clients reaching out to me. Some had new issues popping up, some had old stuff coming back. Covid stirred some shit up!

Our brains are always looking for stability and security. When Covid hit, it was nowhere to be found. And our brains started to find the old things that we did in unstable times in the past. Anxiety, anyone? Insommnia? Stress? Panic attacks? They can come back because of certain events or situations in life. The thing is that most life situations end. Covid has no actual end in sight. It's super hard to find stability in times like this!

People needing help again isn't strange at all, except that in my training, there was a "one and done" mentality. That we see clients, help them eliminate their problems, and then off they go. Now that is true, to a point. I can help my clients rewire their brains so their problems like anxiety or trauma disappear. But here's the thing. I can't control what life throws at them....

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I Can't Stop Yelling. And I Know Better

Uncategorized Jun 01, 2020

My job is to help people control their emotions. I help them release negative emotions and beliefs that are holding them back, or making them feel like garbage.

So why can I not stop yelling at my son?

Now, he is almost 13. He has gone from my sweet boy to a argumentative, sometimes angry tween, who I don't understand. Sometimes I feel like he is just sitting there, hating me. Other times, he is lying on top of me, wanting cuddles and back rubs. It's a total roller coaster.

When he gets frustrated, or disagreeable, or yells "I KNOW!" to something I am asking him to do that he is clearly not doing, I go crazy.

I yell. There are f-bombs. I know how to control it, but I am choosing not to and I don't know why. So I started thinking about why.

I did what I ask my clients to do. How am I feeling in this moment? Angry. No, sad. Grief. Betrayed. Unloved.

Yikes. That's a lot to put on a hormonally raging kid, but I feel how I feel. Now, what am I going to do about it? 

I know,...

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Why You're So Sad, and What Can Help.

Uncategorized May 03, 2020

So last week I was angry AF. Remember the vacuum cleaner incident?

Now I feel sad. I'm sad for my son, who, as an only child, has no one to socialize with. I'm sad for the people who have lost people. I'm sad for the people who can't deal, so they are going to weird conspiracy theories. (Last week I was mad at them). I'm sad for the way things were. I just want to walk around the mall with a Starbucks, meet friends for dinner, go to the gym. It's a yearning for my old life. And then some days I'm like, ok, I'm good, I got this. Then I cry again.

What's up with that? And do you have some days where you feel like you're fine, and adapting, and the next day you crash? What in the actual F is going on??

Right now we're living in a weird unstable environment, where things are changing daily. Remember how our brain looks for sameness and stability?  When it can't find it, it goes back to the past, to draw on old emotions that it knows. Often, because we are living in instability, it...

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Angry AF? This Might Be Why.

Uncategorized Apr 23, 2020

I had 2 yelling fits this week.

One was at my son. He was complaining endlessly about the e-learning work he had to do. It went on and on, and I lost it. I started screaming, told him he was on his own, and slammed into my bedroom. That night I cried to my husband. I felt like a huge bitch, a bully and a really shitty mom.

The second anger attack I had was when I tried to buy a vacuum. Now that my cleaning woman can't come, I have realized that I don't have the cleaning supplies I should have. I went on the Canadian Tire website. You have to call the store to order, then pick it up curbside. Noone answered the phone. I tried 3 other stores. Same thing. Amazon Prime had a 3 week wait. I freaked out. "WHY CAN I NOT JUST BUY THE THINGS I NEED??" I was so mad I started crying.

So maybe it wasn't the best week for me.

But it got me thinking. None of my outbursts were actually anger.

They came from anxiety, fear, overwhelm and a feeling of no control. 

When our environment is...

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How To Combat Your Corona Virus Anxiety

Uncategorized Mar 21, 2020

We are all super freaked out these days. Not only are we freaked out, but we are socially isolated, and all the normal things we might do to cope with our anxiety have been taken away- going out with friends, working out at the gym, dance class, art class, etc. And feeling in a constant state of instability is not a fun place to be in. Especially right now. 

So what can we do? Create stability in an unstable environment.

1. Realize you aren't alone. Almost everyone is feeling the same way. Reach out to a support system so you feel not so alone. 

2. Within your support system, make sure you stay positive and also talk about at least some happy and fun things. We want to reinforce those positive neuropatterns now!

3. Develop a new routine. Include healthy eating and snacks, getting outside and meditation. I have a daily routine I downloaded for my son to keep him on track during "school" days. It includes some different ways of learning and outside/exercise time.

4. Think...

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Are You Freaked Out And Anxious AF?

Uncategorized Mar 14, 2020

Everyone seems to be freaking out about the pandemic that's happening right now. And yes, we should be cautious. 

Even people who don't struggle with anxiety are becoming scared, anxious and freaked out (toilet paper hoarding, anyone??)

 But for people who already have anxiety or have suffered past trauma, events like this can be a minefield. It's like your anxiety has anxiety. And maybe you were able to manage it before, but now it feels out of control.

You see, your brain is hard wired to make the bad things big. It can protect us, but often doesn't serve us. And when the world seems to be going topsy-turvy, that old anxiety is like, "woo-hoo! Here's some more stuff I can worry about and fixate on!" And everything feels worse.

So what if we could change that?

What if we could get rid of the anxiety altogether, so you could feel resourceful, clear-headed, and handle everything you need to handle, without fear or panic?

Sound nuts? Totally possible.

 Anxiety is fear...

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How to Stop Choosing the Wrong Partner, Over and Over Again

Uncategorized Mar 01, 2020

I see it all the time in my practice. People choosing the wrong person over and over again. They have probably come to me because they are unsatisfied in their current relationship, but when we go back over all their past relationships, a pattern can be seen. And we tend to attract those who are fulfilling an unconscious need. 

Maybe there is always an attraction to people who are emotionally unavailable because you struggle with abandonment. Or an attraction to cheaters because there has been a family history of cheating.

Now I know, you will say, that's ridiculous- I am not choosing that! How could I be??

Here's how it works. You unconscious mind is in control of all of that, so of course you aren't consciously choosing a partner who will cheat. But you brain looks for sameness, all the time. It becomes comfortable with certain patterns- they are familiar. If you have neuro-patterns where you have felt intense abandonment, your unconscious mind will look for someone who will...

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